NCLB Camps
No Clone Left Behind Re-Education Camps

When you know termination isn't going to do the job

A licensed IntSec serivce firm

Sometimes a traitor needs more than a fine or a tattoo of 'Wasteful' across his forehead. But sometimes you need that traitor still alive, or you know termination will only put off the problem for a few weeks. We are here to fill the gap between the two by collecting traitors and busing them to one of our camps for re-education: a chance to unlearn treason and relearn loyalty.

No Clone Left Behind Re-Education Camps are high-security facilities where traitors are rehabilitated into loyal, trustworthy citizens. We use a unique combination medication and applied behavioral conditioning to correct the problems that cause treason in the first place.

“If you terminate a traitor, you only solved the symptom. Re-education solves the problem at its source, the citizen itself. (William-I-YTL-2)”

A stay at one of our camps can include many activities and classes, all tailored to the exact nature of the treason committed by the citizen. Sample activities and classes include:

  • Happiness Hymn jamborees
  • Unpowered subsector camping
  • Salt-in-wounds therapy
  • Basket weaving
  • Held underwater swimming
  • Medication relay races
  • Loyalty merit badges
  • Hot Poker In A Random Orifice Day

All of this is guaranteed to prevent a recurance of the same treason in a citizen. Guaranteed!

You must be at least YELLOW clearance to recommend a citizen for re-education. Certain sector mandates may apply; check with your local IntSec office for details. Termination may still apply.
News
Camp Kikatrayter is closed until further notice due to unplanned radiation poisoning.
We are taking transfer applications for a new Head Counselor for Camp Killemall. Applicants must be above YELLOW clearance and have an autocar permit.
Citizen Brandon-R-HAE-2 was released from Camp Goranguts last weekcycle, so stop asking us where he is. We don't know and it's not our problem.
Join Our Mailing List
PARANOIA copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.
Site design copyright © 2005 by 404 Creative Studios (www.404creative.com). All rights still reserved.
Original content copyright © 2005. Whatever rights remain are reserved.