they surrender

a licensed research and design service firm

You have reached the homesite for They Surrender R&D, a service firm dedicated to providing Troubleshooters with the latest equipment, gear, and weaponry to make the Communists surrender1. All of our products have been fully tested on live clones and come with a lifetime guarantee.2

current catalog [click here]

a committment to excellence

Our teams of dedicated scientists3, engineers4 and test subjects on loan from Internal Security5 are hard at work every shift to create the weapons and equipment needed to solve your mission6. Yet all of our products must pass a thorough 54-point inspection before ever leaving the laboratory7. Dangerous? Only to the enemy8.

“ I was surprised by They Surrender R&D. Their gear worked perfectly every time I used it. If only other service firms could provide such satisfactory performance, the Communists would be extinct by now.
-- Chris-G-WLK-3, Troubleshooter. 		”

wide range of products

Many of our staff were once Troublshooters9, so we know how the challenges posed by a mission are many and varied10. That is why we produce a full range of products for Troubleshooters. From high-powered weapons to simple backpacks, we provide for all your Troubleshooting needs11.


mandatory bonus duties

We also provide products especially designed to ease the burden of Mandatory Bonus Duties12. Check out our line of MBD Products in our online catalogue.

overstock sale

We have cut the price on our Hands-Free PDC Holder. Take advantage of this offer while it lasts.

not a troubleshooter?

Not a problem. Although designed to meet the exacting needs of Troubleshooter teams13, our products are available to all citizens14. Simply browse our online catalogue, select the products you wish to buy, and scan your ME Card15.

The amount of purchase will be debited from your account, and the products will be shipped overnight16 to your home address. For your own sake, please make sure you are cleared for products before purchasing17.
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latest products

Need a way to carry all your stuff? Try our new expandable backpack! Comes in three exciting colors.
Tired of getting incorrect measurements? Use our universal calibrator so you can measure once and cut twice!


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UV? Click here.
1The term 'surrender' is used under poetic license #RD339-993-0020 and may include surrender, termination, vaporization and/or temporary escape.
2The average Troubleshooter's lifetime per clone based on available data from Troubleshooter Headquarters. Individual lifetimes may vary.
3Not all scientists are fully trained or sane. If they can wear a lab coat, that's good enough for us.
4To be honest, we're not even sure what an engineer does. But it sounded spiffy, so there you go.
5All test subjects have ben guaranteed guilty by IntSec. Complaints should be directed to their offices, not ours.
6This is not to be construed as a contract whereas we guarantee your mission will succeed. You can still screw it up despite our fine products.
7Not all products are required to pass the thorough 54-point inspection. See product inserts for details.
8We deny liability for any and all danger caused by misuse, failing to follow complicated instructions to the letter and normal wear-and-tear.
9Are any of you actually comforted by that fact?
10This does not mean that we know your mission objectives. We know nothing, so stop calling us for help.
11These 'needs' do not include avoiding correction, arrest and/or imprisonment on treason-related charges set up by your teammate.
12This does not mean we see MBDs as burdens. They are wonderful ways to further help The Computer, so stop trying to get us terminated.
13Given the varied nature of Troubleshooting teams and missions, we cannot guarantee that our products will meet even one need.
14Purchases may be restricted by security clearance, credit rating, inventory shortages, inventory surpluses and/or whether we like you or not.
15By scanning your ME card for purchases, you grant us the right to look into your credit history and laugh at all the stupid stuff you've bought in the past.
16The term 'overnight' is used under poetic license #RD339-993-0065 and may include a few minutes, several hours, one daycycle or several monthcycles.
17Any attempt to purchase products above your clearance will require us to inform IntSec immediately. All right, so we're not obligated to do that. We do it just for kicks.

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