Certifiable A Classic/Zap mission for PARANOIA. By W.J. MacGuffin, Copyright 2005. For 3-5 players. Playing time 1-2 sessions (apx. 6 hours). Warning: ULTRAVIOLET Clearance Stop! This is a mission for PARANOIA so it's for GMs only! If you want to play through as a character, then put it down and slowly step away. No one will get hurt--except Troubleshooters, but that’s a given. PARANOIA Copyright 1983, 1987, 2006 by Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved. Mission Summary When a Troubleshooter team inconveniences a VIOLET citizen, she decides that not every citizen should be eligible for Troubleshooter teams. So she organizes a certification exam to test candidates for Troubleshooting before they get laser pistols, reflec and a mission. When the Communists hear of this, they decide to attack the exam before it starts selecting citizens with actual ability. This is where the players come in--as standard Troubleshooters who are just about to go on their first mission—until their briefing officer notices they're not certified yet. Then he sends them though the certification exam, which is ten times longer (and more difficult) than the original mission. Finally certified, the Troubleshooters can now work on their first mission--which ends abruptly. But it was supposed to end abruptly. It won’t be anything the players did, we swear! Mission Background Last yearcycle, a Troubleshooter team was dispatched to hunt down some mutants in DLL Sector. In the ensuing destruction that inevitably follows Troubleshooters, a VIOLET citizen named Julia-V-FRF lost power, water and good portions of her sprawling estate. She wasn't very happy about that. She was even less happy when she discovered the amount of training that normally goes into the average Troubleshooter team (i.e., none). Since her clearance is high enough, she decided to do something about it. One yearcycle later, Alpha Complex is introduced to mandate TMTS 554.83/e, more commonly known as the Troubleshooter Certification Exam. Any citizen up for Troubleshooter duty, whether they volunteered or they were volunteered, must take and pass the TCE in order to be certified as an official Troubleshooter. This is supposed to improve Troubleshooter team efficiency and reduce collateral damage. Once word of this got to the Communists, they were a little concerned. In their propaganda-filled eyes, Troubleshooters are already too efficient. So the Commies started Operation Glorious Rebellion For The Liberation Of The Working Class (not to be confused with the other 17 operations with the same name) to disrupt the exams and stop the certification process. Their main success was in intercepting a number of exam notices to Troubleshooters, preventing them from taking the exam. But the Communists know they must do more than intercept the notices; they must disrupt the exam itself. So Operation GRFTLOFWC sends Commie strike teams to the certification centers, armed to the teeth so at the very least they'll blow up the place when they blow up themselves. Anyone want to take bets on whether the PCs got their exam notices or not? No? How about whether their certification center is one of those that will be attacked by Commies? Still no? You GMs are no fun. Summary 1: I'm just a number! Yippie! The Troubleshooters are called upon to carry an important package to a far away sector. Just before being sent out, the briefing officer asks for their Troubleshooter Certification numbers. The team had been overlooked by the new Certification mandates, so the officer hastily arranges a Troubleshooter Certification Exam. Once they arrive at the certification center, the Troubleshooters are given a brief explanation before the testing begins. First, the Troubleshooters must show they are comfortable with confession booths by entering one and confessing their treason. Once inside, each receives a mission from their secret society instead of any actual confession. Let's hope nobody started confessing too early. 2: Testing their patience Next the team heads to the nearby R&D Testing Facility, where they receive experimental equipment--just in time for a surprise Commie attack. (Commies are not known for their timing.) After dispatching the traitors and maybe a few of their own clones, the Troubleshooters are brought to a firing range to face a series of guests, from an IntSec Agent to a docbot, and they have seconds to either shoot or not shoot each one. Hopefully, they don't shoot the High Programmer. Then they must protect a scrubot from another Commie attack and use C-Bay to order themselves something to heal their wounds. Unfortunately for them, a docbot answers the call for healing. Yes, this is the same docbot from the firing range. Hopefully, they didn't shoot the docbot either. Next, the Troubleshooters must get through two rooms. The first has a RED door and a GREEN floor. The second has … there is absolutely nothing wrong with the second room. Nothing. It's quite safe, actually. Why doesn’t anyone believe us Famous Game Designers when we say that? 3: A relaxing Sevenday drive For the final part of their certification exam, the Troubleshooters must drive down a motorway towards their scoring room in a far away sector. Along the way, the team gets chased by IntSec policemen, Vulture Squadron medics, an all-too-familiar docbot, a High Programmer's limo and, of course, those determined Commies. When the exam is finally over, each Troubleshooter is given a score and (maybe) certification as a Troubleshooter. Then they start their original mission, which ends rather quickly since they’re already where they needed to be. A Special Note To GMs Although veteran players will have plenty of mandatory fun, this mission is designed especially for new players. Some of the typical problems found in PARANOIA missions are de-emphasized--the briefing room is relatively easy to find--and many of the episodes introduce players to terms and people commonly found in the PARANOIA setting such as Vulture Squadron and docbots. A mix of veterans and new players is probably the best, but use whatever you have at hand. Pre-Game Preparation First, decide how many handouts you want for your players. For example, you'll need to decide if you want one equipment list for everyone to share or if each player gets his or her own copy. Likewise, read through episode four and decide if you'll use handouts or words to describe the different targets. Second, read through the pre-generated characters and make sure you like what you see. You're the GM, so you can change whatever you like. If you have less than five players, decide which characters will be used or left out. Scoring the TCE The Troubleshooter Certification Exam is very hard to fail. Otherwise, there'd be a severe shortage of Troubleshooters. Each section of the exam is pass-or-fail: if a player does what he was supposed to, then he passes that section. If he doesn't, then he fails that section. It's possible for teammates to receive different scores on this exam, so grade individually. The TCE has seven sections, and GMs should note when a player passes or fails a section. Episode 3 has a scale for grading the TCE based on the pass/fail ratio. If you cut out any section then try to adjust the grading scale accordingly. It's already pretty much stacked against them. 1: I'm just a number! Yippie! Our Troubleshooters start off killing time in the TTL Sector Troubleshooter lounge, enjoying the benefits of being RED clearance, when a mission alert comes for them. A credit-hungry briefing officer describes a mission that sounds suspiciously safe and short. Just before starting the mission, the officer discovers the team never showed up for their Troubleshooter Certification Exam and are not certified. This mission is put on hold pending the results of the TCE. You have been fined 30cr for skipping this line All characters start out at the same location, the Troubleshooter Mandatory Relaxation Lounge in TTL Sector. Read the following to your players: You are all enjoying the benefits of your new clearance and job. Imagine! Watching a vidscreen that's almost 50cm wide, and with almost enough chairs for everyone in the room! Reruns of Vulture Warriors Are Go! never looked so good. When you were chosen for Troubleshooter Team TTL34, you knew things would change for the better, but this is more than you could have expected. Rejoice! Allow players time to say appropriate slogans and heap general praise on The Computer and Alpha Complex. Toss out a few Perversity points if the players are creative or enthusiastic enough. Then announce that they have a visitor. A shadow fills the room from the doorway behind you. You turn to see a very large ORANGE clone standing just outside the lounge. Large, as in muscled. The clone's ORANGE jumpsuit and shirt barely contain the huge muscles underneath. He's holding a long metal stick and an ORANGE piece of paper. He looks at the paper and says, 'Duh, are youse da Team what I was sent for?' This is Tatum-O-BTD-3, an Armed Forces soldier on loan to Troubleshooter Assignment Headquarters. He may be a little dumb, but he's very good at following orders and he's very strong. In other words, he's an exemplary soldier. His job is to help teams find their briefing room. In this case, his orders are to escort Troubleshooter Team TTL34 from the lounge to a briefing in Room 413N. This room is easy to find: an escalator ride up three floors, down a RED hallway with several doors and the last door on the right. Tatum-O is here to ... motivate the characters to stay focused and arrive on time. The skinnerstick he carries is really just a motivational tool that uses mildly unpleasant electric shocks to help people learn more quickly (Energy, S5W). Tatum-O will educate a Troubleshooter if they try to wander away or otherwise get on his nerves. Adam-R: Wait, I need to go to the bathroom. Tatum-O: Duh, youse is not to leave da path. Says so on da paper what gots my orders. Adam-R: It'll just take a second! I'll be GAAAAA! Tatum-O: Youse follows da path or else youse gets da stick again. Lee-R: Was that really necessary GAAAAA! Tatum-O: Duh, what wuz dat youse said? Chris-R: Up this escalator? Right away! The goal is to herd the players to their briefing room without major incidents or secret society meetings. They'll have time for that later. Be as vicious as you'd like but try not to kill anyone (unless they do something really stupid, like start a fight with Tatum-O). When they reach Room 412N, Tatum-O opens the door and, if necessary, picks up the characters and throws them into the room. Once everyone has entered the room, read the following description to the players: Room 413N is huge. Really huge. It's like a cafeteria designed for 10,000 clones, with long tables and hard metal folding chairs. A row of five confession booths line the wall nearest to the door. You can just make out three people at the far end of the room. One looks BLUE and the other two could be GREEN. Hard to tell from this distance, but there could be a lectern and some RED chairs down there too. This room (Tension level 5) was designed for a large group of Troubleshooters taking the TCE, which the PCs missed thanks to Commie sabotage. The booths are currently locked and unpowered. When they get closer, the team can see it is indeed a BLUE citizen standing behind a lectern with a GREEN guard on either side of him. One guard carries a GREEN laser rifle (Energy Weapons 15, Energy W3K) and the other holds a neurowhip (Hand Weapons 13, Energy S5M). They ignore the characters, who are beneath their skills and dignity. Not to say they wouldn't enjoy opening up on a character that deserves it. Once they are all sitting patiently, the BLUE citizen speaks. 'My name is Joshua-B-GTD-3, and I'll be your briefing officer today. By my PDC you are all three minutes late, and as such, you will each be fined 30 credits.' Your PDCs beep as the deduction is made electronically. 'This mission is specially designed for your team, since you are all relatively new to Troubleshooting. We promise it will be fun, safe and glamorous. Any questions before I go into your mission description?' Joshua-B managed to dig up an old regulation that gives briefing officers a percentage from any fines they assess. He is now well on his way to being one of the richest BLUE clones in this sector. He also charges for information (another obscure mandate) and a fee of 10 credits is assessed for each question he answers. Dorene-R: When will we get barrels for our lasers? Joshua-B: Once the mission starts. You have been charged 10 credits. * Beep! * Dorene-R: What? Joshua-B: I said, you have been charged 10 credits for that answer. Another 10 credits have been charged. * Beep! * Dorene-R: We have to pay to ask questions? Joshua-B: No, you pay to receive answers. 10 more credits. * Beep! * Once players get the idea and shut up, Joshua-B continues the mission briefing. 'Here's your duty. You are to take a small package and deliver it to a high-ranking citizen in Central Processing. I will give you the package shortly and the room is easily found in the CPU Recreation Center located in FAR Sector. In other words, this is a B3 Run. Understood?' When the Troubleshooters are quiet and have been fined for any answers, Joshua-B then assigns the usual Mandatory Bonus Duties: a Team Leader, a Hygiene Officer, a Loyalty Officer, a Happiness Officer and an Equipment Guy. If you're running this mission with players new to PARANOIA, they may have questions about these MBDs. That's fine, but answers still cost 10 credits. Being accepted for a MBD costs 50 credits. Players who complain about being charged are fined 500 credits for questioning the judgment of a higher clearance citizen. Once all duties and fines have been assigned, read the following: 'Now, one last thing before I send you on your way. I'll need everybody's Troubleshooter Certification Number for our records. We'll start with our Team Leader. Number?' Since none of the characters ever took the TCE, they don't have a certificate or number. In other words, the players will be very confused. That's a good thing. Let them look bewildered for a bit or try to be creative. When someone either tries lying or admits to not having a number, Joshua-B get very, very angry. 'This is simply ridiculous! I am so tired of dealing with incompetent Troubleshooters and their flimsy excuses! You are all fined 100 credits for not following Mandate TMTS 554-point-83-stroke-e, the Troubleshooter Certification Exam. Wait here until I can sort out this mess!' Then he storms out of the room the same way the characters came in. The GREEN guards stay and smile at the players. They know that when a BLUE briefing officer is angry with RED Troubleshooters, they often get to shoot. That makes them happy. Although they watch the characters, they do not interact in any way. They don't want to lose any more credits for 'speaking out of turn' or 'giving uncleared information to lower-clearance citizens.' Joshua-B returns soon enough and informs the characters that they were scheduled to take the TCE five weekcycles ago. Before the players can start bootlicking and apologizing, Joshua-B informs them that evidence has already surfaced implicating the Communists. No character is to be executed. Instead, they all have to take the TCE. Now. Then he fines the Troubleshooters for any more answers and then walks out of the room. If players start any mischief while left alone, make sure to roll against the room's Tension level (5). Most likely they'll sit and wait like nice Troubleshooters, but allow them some leeway to be naughty. The Computer will notice any clone that tries to leave the room and those GREEN guards will head back to the room. In a few minutes, so will the character's clone replacement. This is a test. It is only a test. Once they've gotten restless, a citizen wearing GREEN reflec enters the room. She walks slowly between the long tables towards the Troubleshooters. Her face is calm, and her posture is perfect. She doesn't look at them until she gets past and up to the lectern, but then she stares until everyone is quiet. GMs should also wait until everyone is quiet. Sit there and stare at them; don't even roll dice. They'll get the hint. 'My name is Rachel-G-LGR-2. I am your Troubleshooter Certification Exam proctor. It will help your TCE scores if you follow my directions. I will be happy to repeat myself whenever you don't hear or understand the directions. Cheating on the TCE may be punishable by termination. Do I need to repeat myself?' Rachel-G believes strongly in the TCE, and although her question seems ominous, she has no problem repeating herself. In fact, she will repeat exactly what she said whenever asked. She won't explain further or answer questions, but she'll repeat her directions as many times as Troubleshooters require. If a player starts to take advantage of this, Rachel-G will slip in a comment on how this is using up exam time, which is lowering every player's TCE score. She also believes strongly in the power of rank. If any character threatens her with violence, she just stares back. She cannot believe any RED citizen would challenge her, so she assumes it's a hallucination brought on by working too hard. The same goes for any attack against her; she calmly dodges all laser shots, fists or other attacks and waits until the attacker gets tired or runs out of ammunition. 'The TCE is divided into sections that test your abilities as a Troubleshooter. You may not begin a section until I have announced that you may begin. You cannot go back to work on a section after you have finished. Failing any one section will not result in failing the exam as a whole. You will be provided with a score at the end of the exam. Do I need to repeat anything?' Players are not given any more information so ignore any requests for a grading scale or how long the exam will last. Once you begin the exam don't forget to keep a secret tally of passes and failures for each player. They really will be graded at the end of the exam. When players have digested the information, Rachel-G reads from a prepared script: 'Section One, Confession Booths. Confession booths can intimidate the average citizen, but Troubleshooters are tireless servants of The Computer and have nothing to hide. At the end of this room you will find a series of confession booths. Please enter one booth and sit down. The booth will give you instructions once all examinees have entered a booth, so be patient. Return to these seats when the booth tells you. You may begin.' Rachel-G will again stare characters into submission and this time she will not repeat herself. Testing has begun, and she will not interrupt a section of the exam until it is over. When characters reach the end of the room, they find the booths powered up with the doors invitingly open. Inside is a standard monitor and a comfortable chair built into the booth. As usual, punish any character that does not enter the booth in a reasonable amount of time. Once they are inside, read the following: You all experience the same thing. The chair feels really comfortable, at least until the plastic cords snake out and pin your arms, legs, torso, and head to the chair. The door slams shut, and the screen flashes down the color spectrum until it reaches red. Now, time for some individual meetings. Anyone want to be first? Characters are stuck in the booth until it decides they can leave, and they cannot leave until they confess. Fortunately for them, each character's secret society has hacked the booths and will run the show instead of The Computer. What are the odds that each society will hack the very booth chosen by a their agents at random? Don't worry about of such things. It'll only give you a headache. Take each player aside for an individual meeting and play out the confession booth experience. Give the player a minute to worry or even start confessing their sins. Then break in with the secret society and give the player their secret mission. Kevin-R: All right! I confess! I'm a member of the Frankenstein Destroyers! Now let me go! Confession Booth: That is a serious ... error error carrier override ... Dirty scrubots, Kevin-R. Now, what were you saying? This is the perfect time to explain how secret society missions work in PARANOIA if the players are new to the game. The sidebar has secret missions designed for the pregenerated Troubleshooters for this mission, so if you're using your own characters, ignore them and make up your own. The point is to give each player one secret society mission that's possible but conflicts with the TCE at some point. After the society has given their mission, allow players to ask a question or two--but that's it. Hacking a confession booth is risky, so time is limited. This also keeps the other players from waiting too long for their turn. When everyone is done with their secret society missions, the plastic cords retract and the doors open. Characters can leave the booths without a problem and they are all released at the same time. Pay close attention to how the players handle this. They'll probably suspect that other players got in touch with their secret societies as well but they'll have trouble getting to that without exposing themselves in the process. Award Perversity to any player that gets another to confess about the 'confession.' Unfortunately, the societies forgot about the post-confession instructions. Let the characters decide when it's time to report back to Rachel-G. She doesn't realize anything went wrong and she won't know unless the characters bring it up. If Rachel-G finds evidence of any secret society mission, she will order the execution of the one character in question. She will not go looking at every booth. She'd rather get on with the rest of the TCE. If there's nothing to arouse her suspicion, she'll quickly move on to the next activity. If the players linger about for too long, a voice comes from their PDC saying, 'Your time is up. Please report back to your proctor immediately. Thank you for not causing your own termination.' It's likely that all players will exit the booths, proclaim their happiness at being guilt-free and alive and walk quickly back to their proctor. If so, award some Perversity to everyone for such a display of ... unity and patriotism. Yes, that's it! 2: Testing their patience The team is sent across the hall for experimental (and possibly dangerous) equipment, as well as barrels for their lasers. After everyone is armed, a Communist commando squad attacks and tries to end the TCE. Players pass this section if they accept equipment and they fail if they refuse any equipment. Since the Commies are not part of the TCE, killing them does not garner any extra credit. It's everybody's Decanting Day party! Rachel-G orders the Troubleshooters to take their seats again. When everyone is ready, she reads the next prepared statement: 'Section Two, R&D Equipment Use. The Computer often issues safe experimental devices to Troubleshooters to aid in their fight against the Commie Mutant menace. Across the hall you will find Room 410S. Enter this room and interact with the R&D clerk. You will be judged based on your attitude and performance, not on which devices you receive. When you are done, return to this room with your new equipment. You may begin.' This new room is found just where Rachel-G said; across the hall from the door to the briefing room. Once they open the RED door to the new room, they see ... well, not much. Room 410S is hazy with smoke and smells of sulfur and ozone. A RED arrow on the floor directs citizens to a YELLOW counter that runs the width of the room. Every now and then the Troubleshooters can hear a mechanical whine or glass shattering. With a dramatic billowing of the haze, an old clone in a shiny YELLOW jumpsuit arrives behind the counter. This is Keyshawn-Y-PHO-5, a clone who's been executed repeatedly for saying more than he should. Being an engineer in an R&D lab (Tension level 9), he sat down and tried to work out ways to prevent further executions before he ran out of clones. He's come up with two plans so far: stopping every two words to rethink what he's about to say, and wearing an automated laser on his head to shoot somebody before they can shoot him. The laser works well, but saying only two words at a time frustrates a natural talker like Keyshawn-Y. The YELLOW citizen doesn't seem to have noticed your arrival, but the thing on his head has. A thick headband with tiny rail tracks on it wraps around the man's head. A miniature transbot slides along the tracks, coming to a halt and aiming some kind of small but wide YELLOW barrel at you all. A tiny green light blinks on top of the barrel. The automated YELLOW laser (Energy, S3K) will not fire at the characters unless they act in an obviously aggressive manner towards Keyshawn-Y (i.e. aiming a laser at him or anyone else, threatening with physical violence, etc.). Keyshawn-Y doesn't react to the characters until they come up to the counter. Then he silently hands each of them a RED laser barrel and holds up a list of equipment. Troubleshooters must select one (and only one) piece of experimental equipment from that list. Equipment is handed out on a first-come, first-serve basis: Keyshawn-Y will quietly hand over the equipment to whomever asked for it first. If you need him to speak, remember to pause after every second word and to get frustrated over that. Adam-R: Can I have a spare barrel for my laser? Keyshawn-Y: You can ... only have ... one barrel ... forget it. Chris-R: How does this thing work? Are there instructions? Keyshawn-Y: No, so ... shut up. Once everyone has a barrel for their laser and a piece of experimental equipment, read the following aloud. Suddenly, the little mechanical thingie on Keyshawn-Y's head beeps. The light turns red and it spins ... away from you. It's now facing the smoky mist behind the counter. From the mist come five RED clones. They're not following Hygiene Mandate PMHP 443.97/a. In fact, huge black mustaches droop under their noses. They're wearing tall furry hats and big boots. As they get closer, you can see a symbol on their hats. It looks like a hammer and sickle logo! Communists! This crack Communist commando unit is, like most things Communist, poorly planned and designed (Commies: Energy Weapons 09). They do not have any armor and their RED laser pistols (Energy, S3K) only have three shots left. Almost makes you pity them, doesn't it? Keyshawn-Y's head laser will immediately shoot at the Commies. When the Commies have been dispatched, the head laser aims at a random character but does not fire. If the players stay calm they might escape. Yeah, right. If the players linger in the room, a voice comes from their PDC saying, 'Your time is up. Please report back to your proctor immediately. Thank you for not causing your own termination.' Shoot first, ask questions if it survives. Assuming the players return relatively quickly to the briefing room, Rachel-G sets up the next part of the TCE. 'Section Three, Shoot the Traitor. Commies and mutants can look just like regular citizens, so Troubleshooters must differentiate between loyal citizens and evil traitors. Across the hall you will find Training Room 414S. Enter this room, stand behind the ORANGE line and ready a weapon. A series of live targets will enter through a door located at the far end of the room. The Computer will give you three seconds to either shoot or not shoot each one. Please only shoot the traitors. You may begin.' This is next door to the R&D room (which is now locked and has BLUE 'Caution: IntSec Investigation' tape across it). Inside the new room (Tension level 6) is an ORANGE line that runs the width of the room just past the door. There's about one meter of space between the back wall and the line, and characters have just enough room to stand shoulder-to-shoulder. At the far end of the room is a gray door. If anyone crosses the ORANGE line, a loud siren will blare and The Computer will say, 'Your attempt at cheating has been noted. Please return to your place immediately.' Any character that does not (or cannot) get back across the line quickly is declared a traitor by The Computer, who invites other citizens to shoot the character on sight. If any player has too much fun causing the termination of other characters, make a pretend Tension check and have The Computer order his termination instead. When everyone has settled down, read the following: A voice comes from your PDCs. 'Please ready your weapon. This section of the test is about to begin.' You GMs have two choices at this point. You can either give a very short description of each target ('Though the door comes ... a BLUE citizen wearing combat armor! Shoot or not?'), or you can print out (or draw with crayons) pictures for each one and hold them up for everyone to see. Give the players three seconds to write down 'Shoot' or 'Not' on a piece of paper after each one. Players who do not write down either word within the three seconds are defaulted to 'Not.' Below is a list of the five targets in the order they'll enter. They will come through the door one at a time, stand around for players to shoot or not, and then leave as quickly as they came. Shooting at the first four targets has no effect since their armor is stronger than the character's lasers, but the fifth target will splatter nicely. Each description below includes a recorded voice message that lets players know what the correct response was and why. 1. BLUE member of Vulture Squadron. 'The correct response was NOT. This is a BLUE clearance member of Vulture Squadron, the pride of the Armed Forces. Without these brave warriors we would not be alive today.' 2. Docbot covered with blood. 'The correct response was NOT. This is a helpful Docbot. The blood on this unit indicates it has worked diligently to provide top-notch medical care for clones.' (Special GM note: This docbot will reappear in episode six, so make a note of which characters shoot at it.) 3. A YELLOW IntSec agent. 'The correct response was SHOOT. This is an Internal Security guard, but observant clones will spot the hammer-and-sickle necklace around his neck. He is a Communist spy.' (The necklace is there, but it's so small that only a high-powered zoom lens would be able to see it.) 4. An ULTRAVIOLET citizen. 'The correct response was NOT. This is an ULTRAVIOLET citizen, commonly called a High Programmer. They are ... carrier override ... You dared shoot at me? Stupid little RED, you have two minutes to grovel for your life! I'm kidding. You're dead.' (Terminate any characters that actually shot at him.) 5. A cute, real, live puppy. 'The correct response was SHOOT. If you are unsure what a thing is, then the proper response would be to shoot it.' (No real puppies were harmed in the writing of this mission. And please, no LARPs with this adventure.) After characters are done with the last target, their PDCs chime in with the familiar, 'Your time is up. Please report back to your proctor immediately. Thank you for not causing your own termination.' Award some Perversity to any player who got everything correct. Give out some bonus points to anyone who vaporized the puppy. This is PARANOIA after all. The big BLUE circle o' death When the players arrive back in the room ... you should be getting the idea by now. 'Section Four, Protecting Computer Property. Since traitors cannot hurt The Computer directly, they often try to strike at The Computer's property. Down the hall you will find Property Testing Room 411N. Enter this room and protect the valuable piece of Computer property located in a circle marked in the center of the room. Use everything at your disposal to protect this object from harm but it cannot leave the circle or you will fail this activity. When you your time is up, return to this room. You may begin.' Room 411N is just two doors down the hallway. When the team enters the room (Tension level 3), they see a 40 meters square room. It is very well ventilated--numerous large air vents dot the ceiling and walls. In the center of the room is a 3-meter wide BLUE circle. Sitting in the circle is a cute little scrubot. This is the 'valuable piece of Computer property' that the Troubleshooters must protect. They must also make sure it stays in the BLUE circle, which quickly becomes a problem. The scrubot is set to turn on when examinees enter the testing room. When it does, it notices that the room is very dirty so it tries to clean the room, most of which lies outside the BLUE circle. The scrubot beeps when you enter the room. 'Mustclean ... bzzzt ... dirtydirtyfloormustclean ... ping! ... cleanclean ... beep! ....' It slowly begins to head towards you. If the players don't immediately run to stop the scrubot from leaving the blue circle, casually remind them that they will all be penalized if the scrubot leaves the circle. Troubleshooters have a few options at this point: 1. Push the scrubot back into the circle. This is effective as long as two or more characters keep pushing. Make some completely superfluous die rolls and say things like, 'You just managed to keep the tip of your boot off the BLUE circle. Do you keep pushing?' If they want to spend Perversity, let them spend all they want. Not that it matters but it might make them feel better. 2. Disable the scrubot. This is more effective but it's also very stupid, given that the task is to keep the scrubot safe. If any player manages to get past the swirling brushes and hot wax to disable the bot, alarms go off and the TCE proctor announces they have failed. Send the team to the next room down the hall to try again, where a Warbot sits in a BLUE circle. 3. Order the scrubot to stay. Unless a player uses Machine Empathy this will not work. Scrubots are very single-minded, and although it should take orders from humans, it can override such orders and keep cleaning as long as it doesn't purposely harm a human. Accidental harm is another story. 4. Call The Computer. 'I'm sorry, but there is no talking permitted during the exam. Your attempt to cheat has been noted.' 5. Clean the room themselves. This option could actually work. If the Troubleshooters do a good job cleaning the floor and walls the scrubot will just sit there and let others do the hard work. It may be a scrubot but it's not stupid. The scrubot should be utilized as an annoyance and possible danger but it shouldn't kill anyone. If the scrubot leaves the circle by more than half a meter, The Computer announces, 'You are not following your proctor's directions. Points are being deducted by the second.' If they cannot return the scrubot to the circle then execute them all and start over. Sometimes you have to play hardball with these players. The Computer is only monitoring the scrubot's location relative to the BLUE circle so it won't notice if any character steps into the circle. Other players might and if they inform The Computer it will commend the snitch and fine the offender 300 credits for the infraction. Repeated infractions will result in that character's summary execution. Once the players have gotten the situation under control, it's time for an attack by those determined Communists. Suddenly, three vent grills fall from the ceiling with a loud clang! Three clones drop into the room on ropes. They're all wearing furry hats with a big hammer-and-sickle logo on them and they all have big furry mustaches. Each carries a RED laser pistol with a full barrel. More Commies! This crack commando squad is just as set on killing the characters and disrupting the TCE as the ones who attacked the R&D section of the exam. They don't aim for the scrubot because they have no idea what this section is testing. Don't let the players know this. Describe how the occasional laser blast scars up the BLUE circle a bit and players should be figuring out if they have 300 credits to spare. Before the players dispatch the Commie commandos, read the following aloud: Three more Commies enter through wall vents but they're not attacking. Instead, they're drawing a huge hammer-and-sickle on the wall by the door with INFRARED markers. The little scrubot sees this and goes crazy! 'Dirtywalldirtywalldirtydirty ... ping! ... bzzzt ... mustcleanwallstopstopclean ....' These new Commies have no armor and no weapons--they are true martyrs to the cause. If any players ignore the armored, armed Commies and start shooting at the defenseless ones, give them some extra Perversity for displaying such commendable (and typical) Troubleshooter behavior. Give the players a few round to deal with the Commie menace and then have their PDCs announce the end of this section. If any of the Commies are still alive, players will have to choose between continuing the fight or following directions and returning to the briefing room down the hall. Healing is a time for revenge If the players left any Commies alive in the Property Testing Room, there could be a running firefight as the Commies follow the characters into the briefing room. Rachel-G will watch without much interest but The Computer will not be so disinterested. A veritable horde of Vulture Squadron warriors will quickly appear to help fight the Commies. When all Commies are dead and the characters are sitting back in their seats.... 'Section Five, Medical Treatment. Despite the best precautions, many Troubleshooters get injured during the course of a mission. During this section you will need to heal personal damage by buying items or services from C-Bay with your own credits. Creativity is scored along with actual improvements. You may begin.' This episode is very loose so players can explore the new C-Bay component of PARANOIA. Use the list of possible medical items in Appendix B for players to buy or just make up your own. If a player doesn't have enough credits left to purchase an item, they can buy it on credit using their ME card (at a very reasonable 35.98% quarterly APR). PLC has even waived transportation costs for the TCE. No matter what the players order up, The Computer will notice the excessive purchasing of medical items and will try to help. You hear the door open and close but it's so far away that you cannot make out who entered. A dark shape is getting closer, though. When it finally gets into the light, you see it's a docbot. It looks like the same docbot that appeared in the Spot the Traitor section of the TCE. Yes, it's the same docbot from episode four. Docbots have great memories, especially for citizens who shoot at it. If any character shot at the docbot in the previous episode, the docbot zooms straight up to them. Docbot: Beep my my how are we feeling today let's have a look at you beep. Kevin-R: No, that's okay. I'm just fine, really. Docbot: Beep you look familiar have we met before please tell me where it hurts beep. Kevin-R: Who, me? No, we've never met. Honest. And I feel fine. Docbot: Beep that was not very nice of you shooting a defenseless docbot who lives only to heal stand still this might sting a little beep. If no one shot at the docbot then it moves straight at the character with the most obvious injuries. What will the docbot do? You have several choices but allow any Perversity spending to affect your decision: 1. Hippocratic oath success: The docbot does nothing to harm the clone. Just the opposite, it heals the character of any damage received so far. Of course, the player may not trust the docbot's forgiving nature but that's not your fault. 2. Hippocratic oath failure: The docbot decides revenge is the best medicine. The pain doesn't last long but neither does that clone's life span. A replacement clone is already being thawed out. 3. Amusing graft: Amusing to the docbot at least. Instead of killing the character, the docbot grafts something like rubber, plastic or metal to the character's arm, chest or whatever. Be as creative and vicious as the player was whiny and scared but don't kill him. Let the graft remind the character of your mercy. 4. Call him 'Stumpy': The docbot decides amputation is necessary even if it's just a broken toenail. To prevent cheating, no crutches are allowed in the testing facility. After the docbot is finished its therapy, it looks at Rachel-G. Rachel-G stares back. The docbot soon loses the staring contest and goes away very quickly. The most common problem Troubleshooters face As long as no one tries to follow the docbot to exact some revenge, Rachel-G continues on to the next section of the TCE. 'Section Six, Getting Past Obstacles. Troubleshooters often face seemingly insurmountable obstacles in the course of their missions. Down the hall you will find Obstacle Course Room 315N. You will be presented with a difficult obstacle keeping you from reaching a pair of RED doors. All clones must pass through both RED doors in order to pass this activity. You may begin.' This time, finding the room isn't so easy. The players have probably gotten a bit complacent about room locations by now, so it's high time to mix them up a bit. Plus, they've already been in every room on this hallway and the doors are all locked and have that BLUE IntSec tape across them (any player dumb enough to break the tape and lock to get into one of those rooms gets what they deserve). Room 315N is actually two stories below (one story down is level 315.5), down an identical hallway and partially hidden behind a B3 Vending Machine. The machine isn't too hard to move. Two characters could move it easily, revealing a RED door. You open the door to a long rectangular room. Although it's only about 5 meters wide, it's easily 20 meters long. At the end of the room is a RED door. Oh, and the floor of the room is GREEN, although there's a 1 meter patch of RED in front of the RED door. Who's first? Let the players be as creative as they can in getting across the room. You want this room to serve as an exercise in quick thinking, not quick death. Although The Computer is watching fairly closely (Tension level 13), it understands the purpose of this exercise. Start off with fines for characters that touch the GREEN floor. Termination should happen if they think they have plenty of credits left. As they get through the RED door, they see another long rectangular room with a RED door at the end. But this time, the floor is the standard gray of many hallways and rooms. There are no air vents, windows, panels, or other interruptions to the smooth walls, ceiling or floor. They are all clean and featureless. All in all, it looks very hygienic and safe. Although the players may not believe it, the room is honestly safe, clean and free from traps of any kind. Their paranoia will most likely kick in hard. Let them fret, search, scan or whatever. Keep your demeanor calm and honest like a used car salesman. That should make the players even more nervous. All it takes to get through the RED door is to walk up to it, open it and walk through. That's it. You'll be amazed at how long this could take. When a character overcomes their fears and opens the door, this is what they see: You are in an average hallway. Just down the hall is a door labeled Room 412N. Everything looks very familiar, and there are several doors in this hallway with BLUE IntSec tape across them. Yes, it's the briefing room they need to return to. How did they get up two stories? Where was this door before? If you really need an answer other than, 'It makes the players more confused,' then ... the other rooms move up and down on giant hydraulic lifts. Happy? 3: A relaxing Sevenday drive This is the last section of the TCE. The team now must drive an autocar on the Alpha Complex version of a motorway to FAR Sector where they will receive their TCE scores and (hopefully) certification. Along the way, the players create a madcap chase scene involving Commie commandos, IntSec policemen, Vulture Squadron warriors, that pesky docbot and an ULTRAVIOLET. Players pass this section if everyone arrives at the designated room in FAR sector and they fail if they even one character does not arrive. Are we there yet? Once players are all accounted for and sitting quietly, Rachel-G begins. 'Section Seven, Finding the Briefing Room. A surprising number of Troubleshooters have problems locating their assigned briefing room. Go back down the escalators to where you will find a waiting RED autocar. Pilot this car to room C-11542 in the CPU Recreation Center located in FAR Sector. You will receive full credit if all team members enter Room C-11542 before the time expires. Late arrivals will penalize all examinee scores equally. You may face obstacles between you and your destination. Do not lose your focus or your way. You have one hourcycle to reach your destination. This is your last activity and you will be told of your TCE score results at this room. You may begin.' Let this sink in. Unlike other sections, this one receives a group score. Don't worry about the time limit. Players will arrive at the CPU Recreation Center with a few minutes to spare. When the team gets back down the escalators, they see a unique sight in the street: a RED autocar. Most autocars are reserved for GREEN citizens or higher, but Troubleshooters often get equipment that's normally too high for their clearance. The autocar can hold up to five clones (two in the front and three in the back) but that's pushing it. A large sign on top of the roof says, 'Warning! RED-clearance Driver!' Autocars have bot brains and this one is not happy. Since it normally drives GREEN citizens around, it considers its current assignment a demotion to RED clearance. It also regards the players as the cause of the demotion. That makes for one grumpy autocar, but it will readily turn over control to the players. In fact, it wants nothing to do with this little excursion. It won't openly fight the players but it won't lift an axle to help them either. The brain is very well shielded (think of an airplane "black box") so it's not even afraid of high-speed accidents. Adam-R: Um, do you think you can weave through traffic at this speed? Dorene-R: Good point. Autocar, take control of steering and avoid any collisions. Autocar: No. Go away. Dorene-R: What? I gave you an order! Autocar: Oh, I heard you. I just don't care. Now go away. Dorene-R: But ... you have to follow my orders. You're a bot. Autocar: And you're annoying. I think they cancel each other out. A map with directions is in the autocar's memory and can be had with a lot of coaxing and bot bootlicking. If you're playing a tabletop mission, pass out one copy of the provided map. If you're playing JParanoia, make a quick and dirty version using a graphic and allow players to download it from your GM folder on Paranoia-Live.net. If you have no idea how to use a graphic program then just type up directions based on the included map. When the players first head out in the autocar, keep it safe and relaxing. It will get exciting soon enough. However, it's inevitable that someone will try something too dangerous (or spend too much Perversity) to ignore. If any player dies during this episode, allow their clone replacement to get into the autocar quickly and easily. Miracle of miracles! A jet-powered cyclebot zooms past, slowing down just enough to stuff your recently departed teammate's new clone in the autocar! They even have all their gear! Praise The Computer's efficiency and ingenuity! Don't kill them all in a giant, fiery car wreck unless players do something really stupid. Group deaths are often un-fun for players and getting a new autocar for the clone replacements will drag out this episode. Don't let the players know this, of course. Play the drama for all it's worth. GM: You manage to swerve just in time to avoid crashing into the transbot. The autocar tips and is now only on two wheels. Player #1: I use my Vehicle Ops skill to get it back on four wheels. GM: Of course you do. You turn hard and the autocar drops back down. You're now facing sideways but still moving forward, skidding on the wheels at 150 kph. Player #2: I make sure my seatbelt is on. GM: Sorry, seatbelts are GREEN clearance or higher. When the players have decided who’s going to drive and have all climbed in the autocar, and have figured out they need to use Autocar Freeway M1AA, they can finally get going. You merge onto the M1AA. It's a huge hallway lit by giant florescent lights in the ceiling and the occasional videoboard advertisement, with four lanes of traffic on either side. A large barrier divides the two sides of traffic. Oh yes, about that traffic. It's actually pretty light--a few autocars zoom past but it's easy to merge. Since the map is rather vague, players have no way to judge how far they have to go. Let them relax and get into a bit of mischief against each other. When they're either relaxed or in the middle of an argument, read the following: An autocar is gaining on you. It's a RED Autocar Model S55 GX, known as the 'Li'l RED pickup' among autocar enthusiasts. You can see that the back, a modified cargo holder without any top, is full of citizens. With one hand, they're holding onto big furry hats so they won't blow away. With the other hand, they seem to be pointing RED lasers at you. Wow! That's unsafe at any speed! At least the Commie commandos got an autocar this time. They are still determined to stop the TCE, so they shoot at both the characters and their autocar. Since both groups are hanging out of autocars that are swerving in and out of traffic, aiming is a bad joke. Don't allow any player to hit a Commie unless they're very creative or if they spend a lot of Perversity. As the drive turns into a high-speed chase and firefight, keep the drama alive by keeping the players alive. Toss a few Wounds and an occasional Down at the characters to keep them on their toes but use the tension of anticipated death more often than actually killing them. Chase scenes don't work if there's no one to chase. Once the players have taken a few ineffective shots, it’s time to mix things up a bit. As you continue to fight and generally act like a highway menace, you barely catch a glimpse of a pair of YELLOW Internal Security autocars sitting behind a videoboard advertisement for Happy Fun Balls. Their warning lights turn on and they're in hot pursuit! These IntSec agents (two in each autocar) are the Alpha Complex version of motorway troopers. They're well armed, egotistical, and prone to giving out speeding tickets at the drop of a doughnut (IntSec: Energy Weapons 12, YELLOW laser rifles S3K, YELLOW reflec armor E1). When they see Troubleshooters and Commies making a mess on their motorway, they get quite angry and start shooting at both groups. Let everyone get a few shots in, and then toss some more fun in the mix: A BLUE medical van sits in the middle of the road! There are three BLUE Vulture Squadron medics walking around holding BLUE boots, collecting plasticreds for the Vulture Squadron Clone Replacement Fund. A rather familiar looking docbot is there too. Make sure the players anger the BLUE medics (Medics: Projectile Weapons 13, Cone Rifles with napalm S2K and HE shells W2K, combat armor 5). Maybe the autocar kills one of the medics or comes close enough to scatter the plasticreds all over the lanes. If the players purposefully aim at the docbot, too bad. They miss. Once the players do whatever is needed to make this chase scene more manic, the BLUE medics hop into their van and pursue the players (and Commies, and YELLOW IntSec agents) at high speed. They randomly fire their cone rifles at any of the three groups. Now's the time to up the drama. Nearby autocars full of innocent citizens go up in a balls of fire. Whole sections of the road disappear, allowing for spectacular and highly unlikely autocar jumps. Players drive through flaming explosions, emerging unharmed except for a few small fires on their vehicle. Just remember that it’s more fun to scare the players and make them swerve, slam on the gas, or otherwise panic than to terminate them in a fiery HE shell explosion. Unless a player gets boring. Firing on the Vulture Squadron medics is okay but boring, so punish that. Climbing onto the roof to get a better line of sight it exciting, so reward that. Smart clones are already looking for the next autocar. Once a few cone rifle shells have been slung around the place, the Troubleshooters come up fast on an ULTRAVIOLET limousine right in their lane. They can avoid it, sideswipe it or just about anything short of actually destroying it. Once they get past it.... The ULTRAVIOLET autocar does not pursue you. How odd. In fact, it's gone by now. There. Safe and sound, except for the Commies, IntSec agents and Vulture Warriors. Wait ... what's that behind you? Looks like a VIOLET copter. It could be following you … but it's definitely getting closer. The copter doesn't really know whom to shoot at, so it fires more-or-less randomly at everyone. The ULTRAVIOLET doesn't care who gets punished as long as the punishment is severe and quick. By this point, the players are probably low on ammo and replacement clones. Stop them for a minute and read this quickly: Um ... your exit is this one. Encourage some Perversity spending on this roll. Then roll against ... whatever, it really doesn't matter ... and read the following to the players: You turn hard to make the exit ramp. You would have driven into the wall if you hadn't slammed into that autobus full of INFRAREDs on their way to a field trip at the Bot Petting Zoo. It bounced you back onto the exit ramp (while they went up in flames - oh well). You slam on what's left of the brakes ... and slam ... and slam ... uh-oh. No brakes! If the players have roleplayed well during the chase and helped make it entertaining and fun, reward them with a successful arrival. They fly through an intersection, jump across the Mike-U-LEM Memorial Fountain, slide past the Happiness Sculpture by Picasso-B-CHI, swerve just in time to avoid hitting a crowd of little clones and their teacherbot on a field trip ... and finally slam sideways into a wall. Then the airbags deploy, pinning everyone against their seats. If the players were boring, whined a lot or tried to play strictly by the rules then treat them to a spectacular death by vehicular homicide. Yes, group deaths should usually be avoided but sometimes you just have to teach them all a lesson. Any chance for some extra credit? When the characters get out from under the airbags (or the replacement clones arrive), their poor autocar falls apart. The bot brain is fine but it lost its audio connections and appears dead. Players who take time to notice their surroundings see a pair of double RED doors. A sign on one reads, 'FAR Sector CPU Recreation Center.’ Smart players who check the time on their PDCs notice they have five minutes left before time runs out. The CPU Recreation Center is a giant sports complex/amusement park for CPU workers of all clearances. Those two GREEN guards from episode one quickly round up any character that goes off in search of fun. Otherwise, Room C-11542 (Tension level 5) is easy to find: turn left once you get past the double RED doors and keep walking for about five minutes. A directory just past the double doors will head them in correct direction. The players do remember the room number, right? Room C-11542 is a large circular room. At the center of the room is Joshua-B-GTD-3, the briefing officer from the beginning, sitting behind a circular BLUE desk. Plush, comfortable RED chairs radiate out from the center in five columns. You can see a pair of large air vents in the ceiling, one over the door and the other directly opposite it. Joshua-B-GTD-3 is looking at his PDC. If the players hurried down the hall, then they arrive just as Joshua-B is counting down from three. He gets a little annoyed that he can't fine the characters for being late but he tries to hide it. If the players took their time or messed around, fine the characters 10 credits for each minute late. The air vents are just there to make the players nervous. Don't send Commie commandos through the vents unless you're feeling particularly nasty. Joshua-B points at the empty chairs and says, 'Please, take a seat. I've been going over your TCE scores, so when you're all sitting we can go over the results.' You could always decide that they all fail, pass or whatever. You're the GM so do what you feel is necessary. However, if you want to make it a little less arbitrary then use the following scale to grade each player's performance. Each episode's summary lists how players can pass or fail each section so simply count how many were passed: All 7 sections passed: Grade is 'A'. Pass and promote to ORANGE. 5 or 6 sections passed: Grade is 'B'. Pass and give a 500 credit bonus. 4 sections passed: Grade is 'C'. Pass (barely). 2 or 3 sections passed: Grade is 'D'. Fail. 0 or 1 section passed: Grade is 'E'. Fail and fine 500 credits. Players who pass the TCE get an official Troubleshooter Certificate uploaded to their PDCs. Players who somehow manage to fail are demoted to INFRARED and assigned to the other RED Troubleshooters as 'Assistant Junior-Grade Troubleshooters.' Once the players settle down, Joshua-B continues. 'Now that that's out of the way, we can begin the mission. If you'll remember, you are to take a small package and deliver it to a high-ranking citizen in Central Processing. I will give you the package shortly and the room is easily found near CPU's main offices. In other words, this is a B3 Run. Understood? Good, good. Here's your package.' Joshua-B hands the Team Leader a gray package about the size of a shoebox. It's closed and the lid is taped shut with BLUE tape. On the lid is a label that reads, 'For Your Recent Promotion - from Joshua-B.' Any player who was recently promoted might mistake the package as being meant for them. If they open it, execute them and demote them back to RED. Anyone that stupid does not deserve a promotion. Before the players can leave on their mission, a BLUE citizen comes into the room. Joshua-B hops over the desk and grabs the package from the character's hands. He hands the package to the BLUE citizen, who squeals with delight. Together they walk arm in arm and leave. Just before they leave, Joshua-B turns back to the characters and says, 'Oh, er ... great job. You are all given a bonus of 50 credits. Have a great daycycle!' Then everyone's PDC beeps with an incoming message. It's a news story about their exploits. It looks like Friend Computer videotaped your little chase and relayed the footage in real-time to the entire Complex. Autocar Freeway M1AA is in ruins and traffic is a horrible mess. Such mayhem and destruction made great vidshow and you are being hailed as, 'Heroes of the M1AA Commie Massacre.' Apparently, everything you destroyed had a commie time bomb hidden on it, and everyone who died was a mutant trying to destroy the M1AA. What are the odds! Is that the end? Sure. But if you want more.... For a more Classic ending: Players are given 5,000 credits as a reward for stopping the Commies from destroying the M1AA. Then they are docked 4,000 credits by Joshua-B for 'unanticipated expenses occurred during the administration of the TCE.' Now, how do they get back to TTL Sector? For a more Zap ending: The team is busy patting themselves on the back when they hear a knock at the door. It opens, and into the room come four IntSec motorway troopers, some Vulture Squadron medics, a docbot and one very unhappy ULTRAVIOLET. Looks like being a hero isn't what it used to be. THE END. Not-A-Handout #1: Equipment List for GMs This list goes along with Handout #1, the experimental equipment available to the players in Episode Two. However, this version is for you GMs out there. It explains some of the stats, possible benefits and decided downsides to each. Keep this secret! Microwave Rifle (Energy, see below for damage, ammo 24, range 50m) This is a laser rifle that shoots microwaves instead of amplified light and uses a battery pack in place of a barrel. (It still has a barrel, but not one that holds the ammo.) Before it will fire, a citizen must turn the dial to the desired setting: one through six. This is how many rounds the rifle will continue firing. If the dial is set to six and the trigger pulled, the rifle will continuously fire for six straight rounds. The amount of damage depends on how long the target is fired upon. The first round causes a Snafu (or Lightly Damaged for bots and non-living stuff) no matter how big the margin of success—and it increases one step for each round of success. For example, a citizen caught in the microwave rifle's beam for three rounds will be Maimed. Players must reroll each round to continue firing on the target, but successes do not have to be consecutive. The beam ignores reflec of any color, but any metal (like a bot) will spark wildly and block the microwaves completely. The battery pack contains enough energy for 24 rounds of firing. Upon malfunction, the rifle drains the entire battery pack in one intense blast of radiation that vaporizes everything in front of the beam, including the front of the rifle. Happiness grenade 3-pack (Thrown, S6W, ammo 3, range 20m, area effect 10m) As you can probably tell, these grenades are filled with nitrous oxide: laughing gas. Clones caught within the area of effect start laughing very, very hard and suffer a Snafu. Unless they make a successful Wetware check or get out of the effect area, they continue to suffer a Snafu from fits of laughter for up to three rounds. This is a three-pack so players get three grenades. Upon malfunction, a grenade emits an aggression-stimulating gas instead of nitrous oxide, making all effected clones want to fight more than drunken football fans. Anti-pickpocket armor (Impact 5, full figure) This armor is a wearable, clear Plexiglas box that covers a character from head to foot. Clear support arcs connect from shoulder straps and hold the box just over the head, allowing a character to walk and turn around. However, the Plexiglas scrapes along the floor and a character must lift with his shoulders to stop the awful shriek of Plexiglas on floor. If someone falls down while wearing this, they will need to make a successful Violence check to stand without assistance. No one could possibly pick the pocket of a clone wearing this armor since no one but the wearer can reach the pockets. Several small holes in front of the face allow for breathing and speaking, and a larger hole near the right hip allows a laser to poke out. Being made from Plexiglas, the armor is very effective against impact damage but energy and biological damage tends to get through easily. Mini-cone rifle w/ten-shot magazine (Impact, O5S, ammo 10, range 200m) It looks exactly like a regular cone rifle because it's made from the same outer casing. However, it has a space for a magazine clip instead of loading one shell at a time. The clip is large but it does not obscure the aim of the user. The main problem is the ammunition was made way too small. It fires a tiny version of a HE shell, so small that it resembles a bottle rocket. It makes a lot of noise when shot, and the explosion is pretty but anything hit by these shells will only suffer a Snafu at best. The one saving grace of this weapon is its intimidation factor. Thanks to vidshows, most clones will recognize a cone rifle and can image the terrible damage it causes. They won't know of the mini-shell's less than spectacular effects until they see it fired first-hand. Upon malfunction, the magazine explodes and causes a Wound to the player trying to fire it. Unichromatic reflec (Energy 5) This is not standard reflec just reworked to work against all colors; that's ULTRAVIOLET reflec. This is just a bunch of wearable mirrors. Pieces of this armor can cover the chest and back, forearms, thighs, crotch and even the head and face (the face side is a one-way mirror). They work against all levels of laser fire. Laser blasts ricochet at whatever angles you think could be funny or well deserved. The mirrors are highly fragile and any type of Impact damage will shatter at least one of the pieces of the armor. This causes a Wound to whoever is wearing it, and this could be very bad if the faceplate is shattered. Handout #1: Equipment list for players (GMs should copy this page and present it to the players when they reach the R&D lab in Episode 2.) Attention Troubleshooters! Congratulations! Scientific Limit Pushers (a licensed firm of Research and Development) presents the following proposals that were originally denied by Armed Forces but are now available for Troubleshooter teams. Simply tell the R&D technician standing, sitting, lying, or bleeding in front of you which device you would like for your mission. Proposal #2,543,778 - Microwave rifle Category: Energy Weapons Proposal Explanation: Rifle is similar in size, weight and range to a laser rifle to reduce training costs. Pulsed photon emission is replaced by concentrated microwave emission. Length of shot is variable and controlled by timer. Uses standard ISO 6400 battery packs for increased compatibility. Aim pulls to left, still working on that. Proposal #990,391 - Happiness grenade 3-pack Category: MBD Equipment Proposal Explanation: Compressed N2O released upon activation, increasing happiness of test subjects by 200%. Effect is temporary: permanent increase possible pending more funding. Side effects can include asphyxiation and dry mouth. Pack of three emphasizes ease of use. Proposal #1,924,236 - Anti-pickpocket armor Category: Armor Proposal Explanation: Pickpocket success rate dropped to 0.15% with armor. Complications are being worked on but include reduced mobility and aural sensitivity. We feel this is appropriate compensation for armor's qualities and believe product is ready for marketing. Proposal #1,391,550 - Mini-cone rifle w/ten-shot magazine Category: Projectile Weapons Proposal Explanation: To reduce the size of collateral damage from normal cone rifle shells. A standard cone rifle with the bolt/autoload mechanism adapted to fire miniaturized shells. Current rifle production would only require a two-hour production line change to accommodate mass production. Proposal #2,005,309 - Unichromatic reflec Category: Armor Proposal Explanation: This proposal is for an improved reflec design that covers the entire spectrum. Although it is bulky, it has proven to prevent damage to test subjects from all colors of barrels. More funding would allow us to address bulk and movement issues. Not-A-Handout #2: Possible C-Bay Medical items In Episode Two, the players have to purchase medical items from C-Bay. Below are some suggested items that they could find and, if they have the credits, buy. As we talked about earlier, it’s best to give players the name and (possibly) a few words to describe it—but do not let them see this list. Players should get a little nervous ordering medical items that they don't understand. That's a good thing. All items are cleared for RED or lower. We’re not sadistic! We just have an unusual definition of fun, is all. Well, you GMs probably share that definition, so don’t start snickering too much. Body spackle 120cr. per tub. Stops bleeding and covers holes left by weapons. Applicator not included. This is a small tub of pink putty that adheres to human skin after a few minutes of exposure to air. It stops bleeding by sealing up all broken blood vessels. Characters will have large pink areas on their skin but it does work. Spackle can be shaped like putty, and it hardens very quickly. Note that this will stick to any human skin, even fingers. Tourn-Aid 15cr. each. Makes stopping massive blood loss as easy as drinking B3. It's a battery-powered tourniquet that looks like a blood-pressure gauge. Slip the rubber tube over the problem limb and press the large black button on its side. The device will quietly and efficiently shrink down until it snaps bones, crushes muscles and finally stops all blood flow. Characters suffer a Wound when using this. Bottle of acetagylcerolapamine 20cr. per bottle of 10. Pain is a thing of the past. Take 2 every 4 hours. These pills work too well. Characters who take even one pill will soon lose all sensation. They can still move, walk and whatever but they cannot feel a thing. While this could be helpful during combat, it also means they cannot feel pickpockets, someone planting evidence on them, literal backstabbing and the like. Antiseptic wipes 45cr. for pack of 15 wipes. Prevent infection with these sterile wipes. Instead of containing some sort of antibiotic, these wipes are soaked in a mild acid. They remove harmful bacteria, along with several layers of skin or metal. The acid does not continue to eat through materials, but characters that use this will receive a painful Snafu. Swell-Be-Gone packs 200cr. each. Stop swelling and ease muscle tension with these handy packs. Each pack is flexible and has a Velcro strap for securing it on the affected area. Once secured, it works automatically by becoming incredibly cold (around -30 Celsius) for ten minutes. Then it becomes incredibly hot (around 100 degrees Celsius) for ten minutes, then back to cold, heat, cold.... Characters suffer a Wound for each temperature switch. Self-adhering bandage 30cr. per roll. No messy clips. Quick to put on and perfect for emergencies. There are two sides to these bandages: healing and sticky. The healing side is supposed to be pressed against any wounds. The sticky side is incredibly sticky. Characters who touch this side (and how would they use the bandage without touching that side) are stuck to it and cannot get it off without removing some skin, fabric or whatever. Continuous eye-wash 130cr. each. Never get any chemicals in your eyes again. These tight-fitting goggles are filled with water held behind a flimsy plastic sheet. They're so tight-fitting that characters must make a successful Violence check to put them on. When a character wears these, their eyes break the sheet to release the water into the eyes. Characters wash out anything in their eyes but must look through water until the goggles are taken off. Again, a successful Violence check is needed to remove them. Hyperallergenic gauze bandages 50cr. per roll. Stop bleeding and prevent infection to wounds. The first word is not a typo. These look like regular gauze bandages that can be wrapped around a wounded area to prevent infection and help healing. Any clone that wears one suffers a Snafu from a violent allergic reaction. Be creative when afflicting the character: rash, sneezing, watery eyes, coughing, asthma, or all of them. Handout #2: Map to FAR Sector for players Here is a map that players might be able to get during Episode 3. While it’s not very helpful, it does show that Autocar Freeway M1AA connects their testing site and the side road needed to reach the CPU Recreation Facility in FAR Sector. THE END.