Hates Them Meeses to Pieces by Bill O'Dea Copyright 2005. For personal use only. The following pre-generated characters are designed to work with Hates Them Meeses To Pieces. GMs should feel free to make up their own characters if they like. We won't mind. The characters have been generated according to the rules laid down in the PARANOIA rulebook. If you want these characters to be compatible with First Edition or Second Edition rules, then feel free to work as hard as you'd like on that. Let me know how it turns out. This document has been formatted for easy printing. Hence, there's a lot of white space. You can handle that, right? GM Stuff Jenni-R-DBC Access: 04 Power: 08 Notes: The ARG is the size of a deck of cards, easily hidden. It takes a minute or so to work, but then it really does make a bot go Frankenstein. It's also identical in size, shape, and label to Raul-R's Asimov Redundancy Generator. Let's hope they don't get mixed up. Raul-R-HTR Access: 03 Power: 13 Notes: The ARG is the size of a deck of cards, easily hidden. It takes a minute or so to work, but then it really does prevent a bot from going Frankenstein. It's also identical in size, shape, and label to Jenni-R's Asimov Reduction Generator. Let's hope they don't get mixed up. Terrell-R-OTY Access: 04 Power: 07 Notes: While the box device will disable a camera for five seconds, the black stickers have no wifi anything. They're just that: black stickers. At first, CPU will send a team to fix the cameras. After a bit, IntSec will start looking for a traitor. Eva-R-XSS Access: 02 Power: 14 Notes: The songbook contains lyrics to Old Reckoning commercials. Have this player sing jingles whevener she wants, but roll against the room's Tension level to see if The Computer notices. Yes, Jerry will record all of her singing in glorious Dolby 5.1. Ted-R-GGA Access: 01 Power: 10 Notes: The cmail address is incorrect (thanks to a Phreak hack). It's for a Free Enterpriser named Harold-Y-PDM-3. He'll give the player a place to hide the stolen equipment, but no matter what this player manages to steal, it will be too big to fit. Alana-R-YBY Access: 05 Power: 11 Notes: The memchip given by the Phreaks has a code error – it will cause a two minute brownout throughout the sector. Everything is pitch dark for two minutes, and IntSec arrives en masse to wherever Alana-R plugged the chip into. Jenni-R-DBC-1 Female Power Services ____________________ Service Firm: Stickies(tm) Distributers Service Firm Type: Odor Fresheners Security Clearance: RED Credits: 1,000 Tics: Smells things to see if they're clean or safe. Example of tic in use: Raul-R: Here, you're assigned this helmet. Jenni-R: [sniffs the helmet] Raul-R: Just take the damn thing, will you? Jenni-R: [sniffs the Equipment Guy] ACTION SKILLS & SPECIALTIES Management 07 Oratory 11 Chutzpah 11 Hygiene 01 Interrogation 01 Convince people that strange smell is nothing to worry about 13 Stealth 04 Slap a Stickies(tm) Air Freshener where no one will see it 10 Violence 07 Energy Weapons 11 Fine Manipulation 11 Unarmed Combat 01 KNOWLEDGE SKILLS & SPECIALTIES Hardware 10 Electronic Engineering 14 Habitat Engineering 14 Bot Ops and Maintenance 01 Vehicle Ops and Maintenance 01 Hide something just inside an air vent 16 Software 08 Data Analysis 12 Bot Programming 01 Use power conduit maps like road maps to find rooms 14 Wetware 04 [No specialties] Open slots for narrow specialties: 2 (Violence, Wetware) Jenni-R-DBC-1 Female Power Services Mutation: Charm Society: Frankenstein Destroyer Secret Skills: Demolition 09, Jargon 12, Bot programming 04 Background: You really like Stickies(tm) Air Fresheners. Even though you are trained to detect faulty power conduits, exposed wires and other olfactory-related power problems, it's the smell of Soybean Surprise or Radberry Breeze coming from the Stickies(tm) that sends you to happiness. Heck, all the Stickies(tm) scents are wonderful! Sniff! That's probably why you didn't notice the jackobot at the transbot platform. What the hell was that stupid bot doing so close to the tunnel? Is it your fault that one little bump could send a jackobot into the path of an upcoming transbot? And did that group of citizens have to yell at her so much? You paid your fine, you wore the 'I'm clumsy' button for days, and now you've paid your price. It's done. Over. Now you got Troubleshooter stuff to do. Secret Society Instructions: Yes, yes, yes. That little 'incident' with the jackobot has the rest of the society talking about you. Specifically, whether you should be kicked out or not. Blasting the metal beasts is great, but not in public! Now IntSec has to be on your trail! So here's your chance to do something about it and maybe save your hide. Take this thin box. It's called the Asimov Reduction Generator. The underside is magnetic, so place it on any bot and it will stick. Then press the green button. The ARG will search through a bot's brain to find the asimov code that prevents it from hurting people and delete it. In other words, it makes a bot go Frankenstein. Why would you want to do that? So you can destroy it, stupid! You think IntSec ain't looking at you a bit more carefully these days after you busted a jackobot? It gives you a loyal reason to destroy those metal bastards. So break 'em good, got it? Speaking of bastards ... those Computer Phreaks are at it again. We've warned them about programming bots, but they won't listen. We think one of your teammates, Alana-R, is a Phreak. Check it out. If not, leave her be. But if she is, then make sure she'll never write code again. Personal Equipment: (1) thin box labeled 'ARG' (illegal) (5) Stickies(tm) Air Fresheners—C-Breeze Scent (INFRARED) (1) mini Gauss gun (INDIGO, W3K, 3 shots) Assigned Equipment: (1) Red laser pistol (2) Red laser barrels (1) Series 1300 PDC (1) ME Card Raul-R-HTR-1 Male Research & Design Service Firm: Sane Maintain RD Service Firm Type: Scientist Sanity Checkers Security Clearance: RED Credits: 1,000 Tics: Over-analyzes innocent comments with meaningless psychobabble. Example of tic in use: Terrell-R: Let's stay focused. Raul-R: Ah, you obviously suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder. Terrell-R: Because I want to finish this mission? Raul-R: Your desire to stay focused is a subconscious desire to maintain control over all aspects of your life, which is a result of childhood attachment issues. Did your teacherbot ever hit you? ACTION SKILLS & SPECIALTIES Management 10 Moxie 14 Oratory 01 Sound like a competent psychotherapist 16 Stealth 07 High Alert 11 Shadowing 01 Mix up medication doses by “accident” 13 Violence 05 Energy Weapons 09 Agility 09 Unarmed Combat 01 Dodge when someone you're talking to gets upset and lunges 11 KNOWLEDGE SKILLS & SPECIALTIES Hardware 08 Mechanical Engineering 12 Weapon and Armor Maintenance 01 Rewire your office's door to open when you say 'Help' 14 Software 04 [No specialties] Wetware 06 Suggestion 10 Pharmatherapy 10 Psychotherapy 01 Outdoor Life 01 Open slots for narrow specialties: 2 (Software, Wetware) Raul-R-HRT-1 Male Research & Development Mutation: Levitation Society: Humanists Secret Skills: Experimental Equipment Repair 04, Jazz music 13, Old Reckoning Cultures 09 Background: It's fun to counsel an R&D scientist back from the brink of insanity. It's also fun to levitate an object near that same scientist, sending him back to the brink. You think of it as a game of Rubber Ball Bouncing. Push, pull, bounce, catch. It's fun! Sometimes the ball will get angry. You've gotten good at hiding behind your chair before the 'patient' can land a punch. Sometimes the ball get hurt, like that R&D guy who liked explosions and bombs. He was probably a PURGEr anyway, so it's good that he went insane. And now you're a Troubleshooter. Sweet. Messing with their heads won't be as easy as those R&D mad scientist types, but it will still be fun. Secret Society Instructions: We all want a better life--and that's what Alpha Complex should be providing. But the current system is corrupt, and it's our duty to correct this whenever possible. That's why you have been assigned to the Bot Preparedness Subcommittee. Your mission is to help make sure bots stay loyal to humans. Take this thin box. It's called the Asimov Redundancy Generator. The underside is magnetic, so place it on any bot and it will stick. Then press the green button. The ARG will search through a bot's brain to find the asimov code that prevents it from hurting people, copy it, and re-code it in seventeen different places within the bot brain. In other words, it makes sure a bot stays loyal. Speaking of bots ... we had a very loyal jackobot get all smashed up last weekcycle. We identified the culprit as your teammate, Jenni-R. We don't know if she's Frankenstein Destroyers, Corpore Metal or what. But she needs to pay for her mistake. Find a way to blackmail her into joining our cause. If she refuses, then she left us no choice. Make sure no one finds the body. Personal Equipment: (1) thin box labeled 'ARG' (illegal) (1) bottle of thymoglandin (Combat Quick), 10 tabs (BLUE) (1) bottle of gelgernine (Inner Happiness), 10 tabs (RED) Assigned Equipment: (1) Red laser pistol (2) Red laser barrels (1) Series 1300 PDC (1) ME Card Terrell-R-OTY-1 Male Armed Forces Service Firm: Move Along Encouragers Service Firm Type: Crowd Control AF Security Clearance: RED Credits: 1,000 Tics: Believes the ultimate in humor is seeing someone get hit in the crotch. Example of tic in use: Eva-R: Hey, Terrell-R! Catch this can of B3! Terrell-R: Owww! Eva-R: Oh, I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Are you crying or laughing? Terrell-R: That ... was ... hilarious ... whimper .... ACTION SKILLS & SPECIALTIES Management 07 Intimidation 11 Oratory 11 Moxie 01 Con Games 01 Stealth 04 Sense when a crowd is close to rioting 09 Violence 09 Energy Weapons 13 Hand Weapons 13 Field Weapons 13 Agility 01 Thrown Weapons 01 Avoid being shot while giving a lecture to naughty citizens 15 KNOWLEDGE SKILLS & SPECIALTIES Hardware 05 Turn non-lethal weapons into very lethal weapons 11 Software 07 Bot Programming 11 Data Search 01 Wetware 08 Medical 12 Outdoor Life 01 Make an injury more painful while trying to help 13 Open slots for narrow specialties: 2 (Management, Software) Terrell-R-OTY-1 Male Armed Forces Mutation: Empathy Society: Death Leopard Secret Skills: Demolition 09, Partying 06, Gambling 14 Background: You've always been one of the more intellectual Death Leopard members. You like the subtly of making someone get all violent over blowing something up. That long distance violence is so dull. It's the crunch of bone when you break a clone's arm that makes your day. That's why you're one of the best Armed Forces' Crowd Control officers. True, there have been accusations of using too much force. Like that one girl who started singing when you pushed her. Singing? You got her to stop singing, all right. The ensuing internal investigation showed you acted within proper parameters for use of violence against rioting clones, but that's because you bribed a guy 200cr. Then there's the occasional accusation that you started a riot instead of preventing one. No problem—yet. No one's pinned anything on you so far, and now you're a Troubleshooter. Problem solved, right? Secret Society Instructions: You're doing good, kid. Real good. I like your style when you break up riots. But here's the thing – we Leps like riots. That's part of what we do. Some of the cats in the gang have been talking 'bout you, and it ain't pretty. You gotta do something, and quick. I like you kid. You got potential, so here's what I'm telling you to do. I'm running a little game of Knock Down Walls in WIL Sector in a few days. You're gonna go there for a Troubleshooter thing, so take these. The box with the button will freeze a security camera's feed for 5 seconds. Once you freeze a camera, put one of these stickers on the lens. It's a tiny wifi device we bought from the Phreaks – it'll make the camera show an empty room! Do this to as many security cameras as you see. It'll make my party work like a charm – and I'll tell the gang that YOU were the one who made it work. Got it? Now get outta here. Oh wait! Almost forgot. Do something nasty to that Raul-R guy, will ya? He messed with the head of one of our honchos over in R&D. That ain't right. Fix that guy good. Personal Equipment: (1) small box with one button (2) rolls of black stickers, 10 to a roll (1) telescoping truncheon (YELLOW, shrinks to 6cm when not in use) Assigned Equipment: (1) Red laser pistol (2) Red laser barrels (1) Series 1300 PDC (1) ME Card Eva-R-XSS-1 Female HPD&MC Service Firm: Melodious Funk HPD Service Firm Type: Singalong Agents Security Clearance: RED Credits: 1,000 Tics: Sing songs that you don't know the lyrics to when bored. Example of tic in use: Eva-R: I'm just da dum da, something something 'gainst the muties ... Ted-R: Will you be quiet? There's no singing on a stakeout. Eva-R: What? Oh, sorry ... hmm dum de Vultures rise, to kill the something .... ACTION SKILLS & SPECIALTIES Management 07 Bootlicking 11 Con Games 11 Oratory 01 Moxie 01 Use patriotic songs to irritate people nearby 13 Stealth 10 Disguise 14 Sneaking 14 High Alert 01 Sleight of Hand 01 Scare people half-to-death with sudden bouts of singing 16 Violence 07 Energy Weapons 11 KNOWLEDGE SKILLS & SPECIALTIES Hardware 06 Habitat Engineering 10 Bot Ops and Maintenance 01 Install ringtones in doors and vidscreens 12 Software 06 Data Search 10 C-Bay 01 Download songs legally to a PDC 12 Wetware 04 [No specialties] Open slots for narrow specialties: 2 (Violence, Wetware) Eva-R-XSS-1 Female HPD&MC Mutation: Polymorphism Society: Romantics Secret Skills: Archival Studies 14, Music 09, Old Reckoning musicals 13 Background: You are one happy, happy citizen. That's what made you such a star at your service firm – no one can sing like you. And you're very good at hiding and jumping out with a song, surprising unsuspecting unhappy citizens and getting them to join in. Some citizens seem upset, but you know that deep down inside, they're happier for it. Except for those citizens with that booth-thingy. You were calmly waiting in a corridor, looking for unhappy citizens to cheer up, when you saw these guys carrying some kind of tech booth. It was heavy, and they seemed unhappy. So you jumped out and sang! They dropped the booth and it broke apart. Hey, not you're fault! Now you're a Troubleshooter. It makes you want to ... well, sing! Secret Society Instructions: Sometimes, open fighting against The Computer won't work. It has a lot more weapons and soldiers than our society, and much more experience in tactics and strategy. That's why we're starting a new campaign: Hearts, Minds, and Ears. You are perfect for this! Take this list of Old Reckoning songs. Whenever you get a chance, start singing them just loud enough for other citizens nearby to hear. Think of this as a mental computer virus – the songs will get stuck in their head, and the Golden Age terms in the songs will call to their spirit. Our numbers will swell, and we can begin to reclaim our heritage! Except if that idiot Terrell-R gets in the way. We tried doing this over in WIL Sector but our lead singer was accused of starting a riot. People weren't rioting! They were dancing! Anyway, Armed Forces sent their goons to break it up, and that Terrel-R beat our singer to death. Why not repay the favor? Personal Equipment: Old Reckoning songbook (ILLEGAL) Assigned Equipment: (1) Red laser pistol (2) Red laser barrels (1) Series 1300 PDC (1) ME Card Ted-R-GGA-1 Male PLC Service Firm: Some-Assembly-Required Tech Support Service Firm Type: Equipment Assembly Control Security Clearance: RED Credits: 1,000 Tics: Doesn't like to do anything strenuous without a cup of CoffeeLike or HappyKaff. Example of tic in use: Alana-R: Ted, get over here and help me open this door. Ted-R: I need to finish my CoffeeLike first. Ssssp! Alana-R: Hello? Frankenstein warbot behind us, stuck door in front of us. Little help? Ted-R: Ssssp! Anyone got any artificial sweetener? ACTION SKILLS & SPECIALTIES Management 08 Con Games 12 Chutzpah 12 Bootlicking 01 Intimidation 01 Blame a malfunctioning device on user error 14 Stealth 05 Security Systems 09 Shadowing 01 Violence 07 Energy Weapons 11 Avoid spilling your cup of CoffeeLike or HappyKaff 13 KNOWLEDGE SKILLS & SPECIALTIES Hardware 10 Mechanical Engineering 14 Electronic Engineering 14 Chemical Engineering 01 Nuclear Engineering 01 Software 04 Understand help file instructions 10 Wetware 06 Biosciences 10 Pharmatherapy 01 Cure caffeine-overdose symptoms with more caffeine 12 Open slots for narrow specialties: 2 (Stealth, Software) Ted-R-GGA-1 Male PLC Mutation: Uncanny Luck Society: Pro Tech Secret Skills: Experimental Equipment Repair 10, Video Games 08, Twitchtalk 12 Background: You never had problems putting together PLC equipment that required “some assembly.” For some reason, you'd just sit down and, within a few minutes, everything seemed to fit together the correct way. How ... uncanny. Still, you can't do everything. When your supervisor asked you to fix a server, you realized it was missing a router. On the way home, you saw several routers just sitting in some guy's room. He didn't complain when you took them, so you assumed they were Computer property and not personal. Hey, it fixed the problem! Now you're in Troubleshooting—no problem. It's just like tech support, only with lasers. Right? Secret Society Instructions: You've been good to us so far. Your help in re-assembly of stuff we've stolen has helped us understand a lot more. But some of the gang have been saying that you're mostly talk – you don't get us stuff. Well, you're a Troubleshooter. They get access to all kinds of special equipment! It wouldn't hurt if you manages to steal something new and complicated for us. Here's the deal: when you get something, send a cmail to greedyharold@freeent.gray.wil and let him know about it. He's one of our guys, and he'll let you know of the nearest drop. Put the equipment in there and leave it. We'll pick it up and give you credit. Now for something that would hurt .... One of your teammates, Eva-R, broke a Collapsible Mediatronic Booth last weekcycle. She claimed it was an accident – she jumped out and started singing some stupid song, knocking the CMB over and breaking it. Make sure she pays. Either steal all her credits and equipment, or just kill her. Personal Equipment: Assigned Equipment: (1) Red laser pistol (2) Red laser barrels (1) Series 1300 PDC (1) ME Card Alana-R-YBY-1 Female CPU Service Firm: Kwik-Form Consultants Service Firm Type: Form Disposal Advisors Security Clearance: RED Credits: 1,000 Tics: Believes more paperwork will improve any situation. Example of tic in use: Jenni-R: Well, this is bad. Pinned down by laser fire, low on ammo, what's next? Alana-R: If only we had form AF9932.74/f rev5545! Jenni-R: A form? Wouldn't a new barrel be more useful? Alana-R: Oh, no! The Flybot Napalm Airdrop Request form would come in handy right now. Jenni-R: That actually made sense. Now I'm really scared. ACTION SKILLS & SPECIALTIES Management 05 Hygiene 09 Interrogation 01 Convince others to wait for completed paperwork before doing anything violent 11 Stealth 07 Sleight of Hand 11 Concealment 01 Violence 08 Energy Weapons 12 Fine Manipulation 12 Thrown Weapons 01 Give someone a wicked papercut 14 KNOWLEDGE SKILLS & SPECIALTIES Hardware 05 Complete online forms in record time 11 Software 10 Data Search 14 Data Analysis 14 Vehicle Programming 01 Operating Systems 01 Find two forms that do the job of one for the same situation 16 Wetware 05 Suggestion 09 Outdoor Life 01 Open slots for narrow specialties: 2 (Stealth, Wetware) Alana-R-YBY-1 Female CPU Mutation: Mental Blast Society: Computer Phreaks Secret Skills: Cash Hacking 07, Jargon 14, Hacking 08 Background: Forms, forms, forms. Predictable, understandable and orderly. You see forms as humanity's attempt to force order out of the chaos that is life. It takes the messy, cluttered world without mandates and regulations and forces order into it. It's a calling, really. Even bots like forms. You're not a bot-freak or anything, but you do enjoy talking with them and coding some new forms onto their hard drives. That way, bots can run out and spread the form to all of Alpha Complex. Soon, everywhere will be covered with glorious forms and order shall rule. Now you're a Troubleshooter. This is great. You get to pass out new forms and shoot chaos. You can't wait. Secret Society Instructions: We have a little piece of spyware in Troubleshooter Headquarters, so we know you're being assigned a mission soon. All we know is that you're heading down to the Soylent Red Production Center in WIL Sector. And that's perfect for us. Take this memchip. Don't put it in your PDC! It contains a virus that will shut down all elevators, escalators and moving pediways in the entire sector. We need you to plug this memchip into a slot near any elevator, escalator, or something similar. Once plugged in, it takes about two minutes to do it's job. Then you can pull the memchip out and return it to us. Do this at least twice, preferably three times, and we'll reward you with some new DXRTML manuals. One last bit: there's a guy on your team named Ted something-or-other. He's friends with some people (who will remain nameless) who stole some routers from us. We don't like that. We already crashed their subnet pages, but we're thinking a little ... real-world damage ... to one of their friends would get our message across. Understood? Personal Equipment: (1) memchip with Computer Phreak virus (illegal!) (1) Derek's Big Guide To Forms (BLUE, contains names of every form in AC) Assigned Equipment: (1) Red laser pistol (2) Red laser barrels (1) Series 1300 PDC (1) ME Card